Zeldman’s right about this whole serialization of the web thing.

Blogs are not content. They are anti-content. Okay, meta-content. Whatever, but they’re certainly not content. Commentary. Critique. Talk. Elephant Talk. The fuckin’ Late Show format of the web. Let me be your host this evening to the World Wide Web. Small bits with little investment, easy to dip in and out of. Even easier than an article, and certainly easier than a site, with all those hyper links and potential forks and who knows what hidden where. Blogs are easier. Not too much at stake. If it sucks, try again tomorrow. Or in ten minutes. Rats will keep coming back for peanuts even if you shock them some of the time instead of feeding them, as long as they can’t see a pattern. Blogs are fucking ketchup. Fuck blogs.

And Zeldman’s example is spot on. Whathisface used to inspire, even if it was with doomed javascript. Now we’ve got links and private jokes. Like everyone else. But it is not the blog’s fault. It is ours. Fuck us. We suck.

And can’t even do that well, because most of us just suck a little. Not enough to be interesting.

And you know what else sucks. Curly quotes. Fuckem. I am so sick of typing and-number-eight-two-one-seven-semicolon. I’ve started doing it in email now! Anything that ends in a semi-colon means you gotta check your colon cuz you’ve got something stuck up there. Like a curly quote. That sort of retentive quasi-typography is dead. No, I mean it’s not typography, bitching about foot symbols. That’s just geeking. An easy way to feel holier than though. If you know what I meant then I got the point across: didn’t I? Or didn't I? I mean, you can’t even justify it from an aesthetic standpoint, because every browser renders too much space around curly quotes. So if something doesn’t help meaning, and is uglier, there is no typographical basis for it. Just insecure people who read a little Bringhurst and are afraid they are gonna lose their web design job now that anyone can do it so they try to feel holier than though. E-Bullshit is so 1990’s. We’re into practicism now. But neoism is still okay. Just not with the letter e. i is okay. Infact, i is great.

Speaking of i.

I truly believe that the world is so full of shit, that baring all and telling the frank truth is original. Or can at least suffice instead of originality. But at heart I know that’s bullshit. Like Cameron Diaz being called brave for playing an ugly girl. Or that giving an organ is brave. If you weren’t conscious when it happened then it wasn’t brave. Period. And there’s this fucking pickle store in London that makes me really curious. It’s always closed. Their phone number is 928 5286. I assume they left off the ’7’ in front, like in small towns where everyone has the same prefix they just say the last few numbers. Now that is useful. That I like. That actually says something. That and the pickle shop make me happy.

The taste of water after eating pineapple I do not like. But the taste of water after eating chilli is wonderful. And I like when it rains HARD at night and then stops in the morning so I can see the colors of the sunrise through the drops on the leaves without getting out of bed. And by the time the day starts in earnest it is dry. Until you step in a puddle in the shade when you get out of the blaring sun and remember that it had rained last night. That is worthwhile.

Like <em>. We all know we means italic, but feels like good people for doing it. And what does it mean that table and font tags are like not recycling? It is like a bad habit we all used to do but now are more enlightened. Like smoking. And who the hell is we? I mean me. ME. Who am I saying we? You can decide it you feel like me. Not me. Fuck ‘me’. Replace all the we’s with me in this article, and it should be slightly less full of shit.

Honestly^*, I deal it and I deal it, but I can’t take it. One nasty comment about something I make and I stop working on it. I think, yeah, you’re right, what’s point. I’ll think of something worthwhile now. How these famous people can possibly put up with all those people saying mean things about them always is beyond me. No wonder Mariah lost her shit. No wonder Robbie Williams is a smartass. If you don’t come into the world telling everyone you suck they’re gonna get you. Or at least telling people you know you suck, but you don’t have to say it, because really you know you rock. I mean, I know I rock, I’m just having troubles getting that across to all of you. Wake the fuck up, I rock already!

Anyway, points are overrated.

Endnotes
^* May I stop being full of shit for a second? Please?